Tuesday, September 27, 2011

And now, we wait

The petition for alien relative, along with all the accompanying documents, I hope, and reluctantly -written check for $420-- what price for a husband-- is in the mail.

My hands shook as I sealed the priority envelope, after checking and double checking I had included everything. I'm not sure why, but the feeling of powerlessness, of vulnerability in the face of bureaucracy, is a potent one.

And, as I write that, I am conscious of the thousands of others, immigrants and natives, praying their petitions to bring their loved ones to the same continent as them, get into the hands of the least grouchy Dept. of Homeland Security employees and get the "approved" rather than  "denied" stamp.

I am not alone. And I, by the dumb luck of being born American, caucasian, WASP, probably have no right to be whining at all. Ours is a minor blip, a technicality, which can and will be overcome. Not so for everyone. For I have felt the unexpected shame of sitting on a train, passing through frontiers, watching men and women around me, those with skin and hair darker than mine, be asked for papers, while I was totally and completely ignored. My whiteness renders me uninteresting, invisible, exempt. OK.

And while half of me admittedly wonders if this isn't all a sign we should have stayed in Europe-- the question still dangles in my peripheral vision--I want to see Ian back in this house he built, in this family he helped make, in this country he adopted for the love of me.

He called this morning to tell me, to tell us, he saw a shooting star in the middle of the dark French night last night. I can't help but choose to see that as a sign as well.  

image from akshay moon@flickr


Mama Badger said...

You're starting to sound a bit Disney. Be careful who you accept produce from...

Betsy said...

Mama Badger: I'm not entirely sure what you are referring to, but I am eating a Vermont MacIntosh apple right now. Oooo, is it, "Some day my prince will come???"

Michelle M. said...

Betsy - there's no such thing as a "minor blip" when you've been separated from your other half for so long, and all you want is him back - NOW.

I'm sending up a prayer that your documents land in the hands of a happy little worker drone (do they exist?), who pushes the paperwork through to get Ian home soon!

Hannah Hammonds said...

waiting for INS is hard! surely your prince will be able to come home soon. :)

Johanna said...

my 6 yr old daughter Elsa showed me a rainbow yesterday....since I didn't think to wish on it then, I'll do it now and wish for you and the girls to get Ian back in record time.

Rowena said...

Hi Betsy, I am AKA SnowyRow on the Momfo boards. This is my first time posting on your personal blog, but I've been reading for a while now. :)

I do hope that things go well and your hubby comes back to you safely and soon. I know what it's like to be without a hubs around for long periods of time, and it is indeed no fun. I'm sending positive energy your way!

Betsy said...

Thanks for taking the time to comment, Rowena. I know well how easy it is to lurk.