Tuesday, May 19, 2009

I need some chocolate for my nose

So much for French cuisine. This kid's palate just ain't the sophisticated type.

Food just ain't her thing. When I say food, I mean that stuff that we ingest which actually contains nutrients, protein, essential vitamins-- things a body needs to grow and prosper.

What she does need, as far as she is concerned: Is chocolate, sweeties, sugar and honey.

"Isla. Do you want breakfast?" I ask her each morning. "Yeah," she says. "What do you want? Eggs, porridge, cereal and milk,or toast?"

"I want chocowet."

"Isla, It's lunch time. Are you ready for some noodles?"
"No. Noodles make'a me sick. I want some of those," she says, pointing up to the jar of bonbons sitting high on a shelf.

"You can't have bonbons for lunch, Isla. You need food for lunch."

"But I don't want food. I want candy."

"Isla, take some of this medicine for your stuffy nose, it will help you sleep."

"I don't need medicine for my nose. I need chocowet for my nose."

"Isla, I want you to eat your soup. Please eat your soup."


Eyes go big, voice grows impossibly soft-- "Can I have some Nutehwa (Nutella) ?

"Isla it's time to brush your teeth."

"Noooooooooooo! I'm not brushin' my teef. I don't wike brushin' my teef. Brushin my teef makes me sick."

If you don't brush your teef, you won't get any more sugar, ever, for the rest of your entire life."

"It's okay, I don't want any more sugar." "Can I have some licowish (licorace)?"