The demands never stop
my heart is squeezed by my own hand
milking it
palpating
it
waking it up
reminding it that life is good
and wonderful
and
worth the pain
Judging life
during the ebb
and forgetting all about the flow
is a mistake
I've been stuck in ebb mode
caught up in an
endless circling eddy
for week upon week
I don’t like it but
am at a loss to escape it
at a loss to figure out how
to muster the
courage to break through
the transparent wall of the bottomless
whirlpool
and take a lateral leap
out into the flowing fresh water
This constant round and round leaves me dizzy
and filled with
what feels like depression
but is probably grief
I’m heavy
Bereaved
If I were a cow
I’d be lowing in a distant meadow
alone
head hanging
jowls
jiggling in the breeze
Staring at the magnificent green clover
but
having little desire to eat it
Not one bite
